你永远不懂我伤悲

个人日记

 

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       每个人都有一些心理的秘密，不想对别人说也不愿自己去想。因为有些东西越想越难受。心疼那中痛，无法用言语表达，别人也不会懂得。
　　
　　 鲁迅说真正的勇士敢于面对淋漓的鲜血，敢于面对惨淡的人生，可是我没有勇气去看看似快要结痂愈合的伤口，它们不会愈合永远不会愈合，它们在无人寂静的黑夜哭泣呻吟，它们小声的喃喃低语，泪水模糊了我的眼，无语，凝噎。
　　
　　我时常在被窝里泪流满面，小声啜泣。我不喜欢嚎啕大哭，我在寂静的夜里清晰的感受着那种像虫潮席卷过田野后的荒凉悲伤和心被撕咬的麻木疼痛。我以为我会习惯这感觉，我以为我会学会保护自己，我以为我把心封起来，用纱布裹上，一圈又一圈它便不会再每一分钟用疼痛侵蚀我的神经。
 

 

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    我以为我有两颗心，一颗纯净剔透可上面交织着各种伤痕，我把它藏起来，因为它太美好，美好的事物结局总是支离破碎。它在各种攻击下显得太脆弱太容易受伤，整个伤痕斑驳，摇摇欲坠，它告诉我它累了，流下无奈悲伤惆怅的泪水。我把它藏了起来，我不忍看到如此凄惨的画面。我将另一个心拿出来，它的坚固让我吃惊，好像它受到什么攻击都毫发无损，它告诉我他的秘密，它不会受伤是因为他没有真的感情，对谁都是同样的微笑，它告诉我不要相信，不要付出爱和真正的感情，也不要存在期盼，就当在演戏。这样便刀枪不入，水火不进。
　　
　　很多光怪陆离的想法，慢慢扼杀，你永远不懂我伤悲，就像白天不懂夜的孤。。。

 

 

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文：网络     编辑：秋 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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