争与不争,以胸襟定格局

个人日记


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       老子的一句“不争,故莫能与之争”的命题实在精彩。它揭示了一个道的真相,即客观规律。
 
       一个人的一切,不是争出来的,而是看他的实际与实绩,看他的品格、智慧与事业。当然还有机遇,还有外界的不确定因素。
 
       “新飞广告做得好,不如新飞冰箱好”。你争得再有效,也不如你的存在你的性能你的纪录更有说服力。
 
       我一直认为,一个锱铢必较的人,不可能是一个大气的、有信心、有能力、有把握、有格调、有形象的人,而只能是一个心胸狭窄、私心太重、一瓶子不满半瓶子晃荡的人。
 
       《红楼梦》里有一个赵姨娘,其特点是夫唯必争,故什么也得不到;夫唯皆争,故什么也做不成;夫唯乱争,适成笑柄。
 
       切忌必争、皆争、乱争。这种观念如果涉嫌懦弱无能,说明你还没有悟出其中的大智慧。
 
       我有一个很个人的体会:如果你有那个时间和精力去必争、皆争、乱争,何必不用来多读书、多思考问题、多写作品、多做事儿呢?哪样的效益大,哪样的努力划得来,哪样的时间支出更加经济,还需要更多的失败去验证吗?
 
       莫能与之争的说法颇有些幽默。争夺、计较是会引起恶性循环的。你争的结果是他争,他争的结果是她争。争,还能变成恶性破坏。我得不到了,反正也不能让你得到,最后争个两败俱伤,这样的例子还少吗?
 
       而我偏偏不争,你的那些与我争的伎俩,最后不都与风车作战了吗?你争什么,哥们儿,好好好,全归你了好不好?我要的只有格调,只有实绩,只有大道,只有生命的真价值、真意义、真快乐。
 
       你争的结果是一肚子气,是一脑门儿的官司,是一百个想不通,一千个委屈,一万个天怒人怨。
 
       我不争的结果是明朗的心态与可能的最好的果实,还有就是健康的身体。
 
       人性中还有一种为争而争的无聊冲动,连争蝇头小利都谈不上,而是意气之争,字眼之争,打锸之争,取笑之争,为了显示自己而强词夺理之争,吃饱了撑的之争,穷极无聊之争,无事可做之争,怕别了忘记自己之争。夫妻之间就难免这种争执,更有一种叫做姑嫂之争,婆媳之争。
 
       能奉陪吗?绝对不能。只能以不予置理对待之。说白了:做上述无聊之争的人,都是不受待见的人。
 
       很多事争起来完全没有用的。百分之百的有理照样可能面对胡搅蛮缠者而一筹莫展。表面上的道理、论据、事实之侧面、角度之争的背后,往往是利益之争、意气之争、派别之争、背景之争。只有白痴才耽于争论,误了一切正事正业。
 
       不争的结果还是最好的回应与过招。你把蝇头小利、浮名虚势看得重如泰山,我则看得轻如鸿毛,我根本不予理睬,你还能怎么样呢?
 
       这叫以无成有,以退为进。
 
       你在功名上、金钱上、风头上退了,无了,曲了,枉了,洼了,敝了,少了,你在事业上、学问上、智慧上、境界上、大道上、成就上才能有所进取,有所获得,有所造就,有所作为。
当然,与赵姨娘式的人物讲这些话,无疑是对牛弹琴了。
 
       一个人最大的障碍有可能是他自己,光注意表现自己兜售自己了,能看明白这个世界吗?看得明白比他强的人、比他所懂得的更高明的道理吗?光自以为是了,自己掉在自己的坑洼里了,他身上还有什么值得彰显的光辉吗?只知道吹嘘邀功表功的人,谁愿意承认他的功绩?越是自高自大,越是得意洋洋,越是压人一头,越是无人买账。
 
     一个人的胸襟决定着其高度与格局,胸襟不是简单的避让、消极无为,而是不争而天下莫能与之争的终极智慧
 
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