人品【苐二集】

个人日记

 

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上网看人品。在玩空间时再看着出一个人的人品和素质。

在生活中,不论在现实生活.或在网络上虚拟的生活.哪怕只是一个简单的擦肩而过,也会给对方留下印象,譬如,你是一个和善的人,还是一个凶恶的人。如果相处的日子长了,大家还对你没什么印象,那一定是你混到了中庸的位置上,说不上好,也算不上坏,马马虎虎,一辈子混下去了。

这个世界总有一些人,他们去世了,送行的人会叹一口气说:“唉,可惜了,这么个好人走了!”这差不多是最高规格的印象了吧。人在俗世,能被如此盖棺定论,夫复何求?

混到声名狼藉就没意思了。到了这一步,也不是没人搭理你,只是人们会处处提防着你,小心着你。比如大家会互相提醒:“嗯,这个人得注意点,最好还是离他远一点吧!”人的戒备心,总是从印象最差的人那里开始的。

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在富有和贫穷之间,有良知的富人和有骨气的穷人,会让人印象深刻。在美和丑之间,心灵美的比模样好看的,更让人印象深刻。其实,除非对你有想法,否则,没有多少人会在意你的长相。大家在意更多的是你活成了什么样,而不是长成了什么样。

你说过刻薄的话,尽管听的人嘴上什么也不说,但心里会想:这个人咋这么损呢?你做过刻毒的事,旁观的人一扭头走了,但心里会说:这个人咋这么阴呢?印象,就是别人表面上跟你嘻嘻哈哈着呢,但爱憎已在心里。

当着朋友的面跟别人耍心眼,你的狡猾同样会留在朋友心底,正直的朋友终有一天会离开你。从不在他人背后论是非,说短长,即便是素不相识的人最终也会走近你。道理很简单,谁都愿意跟让自己放心的人待在一起。

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中国人彼此之间打交道,基本的信用平台就是印象。你若为人实诚,信用就是5A级,大家都喜欢跟你交往。当然了,你不能对谁都实诚,这样的话,除了有人黏糊你,还会有人欺负你。所以,要做一个好人,还要做一个有原则的好人,宽严适度,爱憎分明,这样,除了能赢得亲近,还会赢得敬畏。

一个爱吃亏的人,会给所有人留下好印象。爱占便宜的人就不一样了,即使是另一个爱占便宜的人也瞧不上他。是的,没有谁会待见自私的人。现实生活中,人们之所以在一定程度上还能宽恕自私,只是因为每个人都曾自私过。因为惭愧,所以姑息。

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印象一旦形成了,是很难被改变的。那些张嘴就是谎话的人,讲了真话也没人敢相信。坏事做尽的人,偶尔做件好事,也没人会认可。一个人,若留给人的印象是从人性丑恶处来的,就再难撼动了。人到了这个地步,基本上算被人看透了。所以,先入为主的好印象,很重要。

有一个女孩爱上了一个男生,若干年之后男生才知道,女孩之所以爱他,只是因为在某次野营的时候,他每次切完菜放置刀的时候,都要刀刃朝里,刀背朝着大家。生活中,好多刻骨铭心的印象,都来自于小细节。看好一个人与看穿一个人,始于细节,终于印象。

现在流行攒人品,怎么攒?一切都在细节里发酵,一切都在印象里成全。

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执笔 少帅燕子丹

 

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