::[[*幸運菟*]]::

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               记得年少时，曾经把鲁迅的一句话写在日记的扉页；生命是我自己的东西，所以我不妨大踏步走下去。不管前面是荆棘，峡谷，悬崖，都由我自己负责。我将自由生存，我快乐。。。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            今夜，我笑对少年的痴狂，终于明白生命这个东西，它好像从来都不曾属于我。。。。。  如果我的生命自己能自己把握的话，我会选择像今天这样生活吗？答案是肯定的。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           在最青春的华年里，我流浪了十年。无论漂泊到哪里都没有丢弃一箱子日记本。那是从初中开始的十多本文字。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        直到那一年的春天。。。鉴 （他属龙那年29岁）突发心脏病两个小时就离开这个世界。。。当时我脑袋一片空白，心头发紧。   峰  （他属鼠那年20岁）对我说；哭出来吧，你不哭，我都嫌你绝情。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                峰说你把日记烧了吧，你的过往太沉重。。。我同意了。。。心想，就给鉴祭奠吧。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      记得,那是一个春光明媚的下午，我和峰来到山脚 ，撕碎片片纸页，点燃 缕  缕  火苗   ，顿时，我泪流满面。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   撕碎了用血和泪凝结的记忆，烧毁青春的情和爱，欢乐和痛苦。。。烧掉的留在纸上的笔迹，抹不去的，是心底的刻痕。。。翻飞的纸灰，像我烧焦的灵魂。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      15年后，春天又来了。峰，你好吗。你一定有了宝宝了吧。     鉴，我总想去看看你。只知道你在长白山的一个叫卧龙山的山谷里。你曾经说我俩生生死死在一起。。。 而现在我依然独自活在这个世界上。。。   活着，还不知足，天天不厌其烦的问我的那个他；你愿意与我生死相依吗。。。喝喝喝。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       每一个失眠的夜晚，翻看着受到命运嘲弄灰色的心，终于明白，让别人流的泪，我用我的血偿还了。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         过去的，不在回来。岁月，青春，爱情，一切的一切。。。。春回，我不去了。梦回，我回不去了。。。随风而逝的，我的青春。活着无奈的，我的生命。。。思念冻结，泪水冰冷。回忆无奈，心绪冻结。。。  如果生命可以重来，我会珍惜每一段感情，如果青春可以重来，我会珍重每一个爱我的人。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        一句轻言的别离，换得半世漂零。。。 背负的痴心，离怨的眼泪。。。余生了，我命  ，    我心，我魂，不求救赎。。。多情总被无情伤。。。。总是以为前方有我的梦在等我，所有，毫不犹豫的把你舍弃。终于明白，被命运抛弃的是自己。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        天黑了，心又开始疼了。。。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            春来了，无所谓梦。。。                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     泪是热的，心却是冷的。。。                                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 &nb