追忆
个人日记
农历2007年4月初5,我最亲爱的母亲,离开了这个世界,离开了我和家人。农历2012年4月初5,今天,是她的忌日,5年。。时间已然不短,虽然我们都想念她,可是,她离开已是事实,我们都得坦然面对,接受现实。
母亲离开的最后一刻我们做儿女的都不在她身旁,这也是我这么多年以来,心底的痛处。听爸爸说起母亲离开时 的那些事情,我泪水长流,对不起,我亲爱的妈妈,女儿不孝,没能陪伴您,在您最需要女儿的时候,女儿却在外地。记得您离开前的一个星期,打电话告诉我,您头痛,您想我,要我回家,可是,我却因有事而没能回去,只是在电话中叮嘱您记得去看医生,记得买药吃,却忽略了那是您对女儿的牵挂,是您在盼望女儿能回去陪伴您。可是我。。。。
许多人在遇到人生坎坷时,会想起这样一句话“树欲静而风不止”来形容自己的无奈,可是又有多少人,特别是年轻一辈,80,90后的年轻人,你们又有多少人能懂得“子欲养而亲不在”的无奈和心酸呢?妈妈走了,走得那样匆忙,走得那样安详,在我无力和贫乏的文字中,无法更加贴切和生动的描写我对母亲生死的依念和怀念。刚开始我拒绝接受这样残酷的现实,甚至想到以死去陪伴母亲,可是,面对白发苍苍的父亲,我没有那样的勇气去让父亲再一次承受白发人送黑发人的痛楚,我打消了那可悲的念头,我在心里对母亲承诺,“妈,一路走好,您放心,我会好好照顾父亲和妹妹 弟弟的”
在那以后,我再也听不到您的声音,再也看不到您的身影,我像一头迷途的羔羊,每天茫然的不知所措,惶惶不可终日。这世上,还有什麽事情会比失去亲人更痛苦?无数的日子里,总是在心底里呼唤着,呐喊着。。。妈,我想您了,您到底在哪?
阴阳两隔,没有人知道这5年来,我的内心是经历了怎样的痛苦和无奈,挣扎,孤独和绝望,这悲痛早已渗透进骨髓,命运生生的把我的血肉之躯拉锯成两半,一半早已陪伴母亲长眠于地,一半继续接受现实的磨练。5年的光阴,或许对于时间的大河来说,是弹指一挥的瞬间,可是对于我来说,它又是经历了怎样的沧海桑田。
现在只有长歌当哭,让心底的悲伤随文字流出来,一丝丝的释放无尽的哀愁和痛楚,母亲,您在天堂可知,女儿好想好想您,女儿特别想知道,在每年清明的那一天,阴阳两隔的亲人间,是否真的有一座相通的桥梁架起?您是否能在某一个地方感知到全家人对您的思念?妈,为什么不托梦给我,告诉女儿 您现在是在天堂还是已投胎转为人世?您离去这么多年里,女儿不知什麽时候就会被突如其来的痛楚击中,不知哪一个瞬间会悲重中来,强烈的思念一日甚是一日,想念您,想着能再看您一眼,想着能再和您相聚一次,想着能再一次聆听您的嘱咐,再一次感受您的关怀-----妈,女儿想您了,您在哪里啊?下一辈子您又将身为谁的妈妈?不管怎样,您永远都是我最亲爱的母亲,没人能代替您在我心里的位置,谁都不可以。。。。
千言万语也难以表达我对您的思念,积累成河,苦调哀歌,妈,祝愿您在天堂里永远健康,快乐!如果来世可以选择,我还做您的女儿,继续我们的母女情缘。。。
女儿:敏 哀上
2012年4月25日农历四月初五
文章评论
用忠诚捍卫军旗下的誓言
别难过、好好生活就是对阿姨最好的报答
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